内容简介

本书旨在帮助读者掌握在关键时刻处理高风险对话的技巧，包括认清自己真正想要达到的目标，留意和确保对话的安全氛围，掌握彼此行为背后的缘由，把建议化为行动，等等；同时辅以丰富的对话情境和轻松幽默的小故事，帮助读者以迅速的方式掌握这些技巧。

当别人做出违反公众预期的行为、打破预先约定的承诺，或者做出不良行为时，你该如何应对？是做沉默的大多数中的一员，还是不顾结果地发泄情绪？本书提供了让别人承担责任的技巧，包括在问责对话之前、之中、之后分别要做什么、怎么做，同时辅以丰富的对话情境和轻松幽默的小故事，帮助读者以迅速的方式掌握这些技巧。

作者简介

克里·帕特森（Kerry Patterson）著有多部获奖培训作品，并且负责过多个长期调查行为变化的研究项目。2004 年，克里获得杨百翰大学万豪管理学院迪尔奖，以表彰他在组织行为领域的杰出贡献。克里在斯坦福大学完成了博士研究工作。

约瑟夫·格伦尼（Joseph Grenny）是一位知名的主题演讲师，也是一位在企业实施重大改革举措方面从业30 年的资深顾问。此外，他还是非盈利组织Unitus 实验室的共同创始人，该组织致力于帮助世界贫困人口实现经济自立。

戴维·马克斯菲尔德（David Maxfi eld）是一位优秀的研究者、咨询顾问和演讲师。他领导的研究项目主要涉及人类行为在医疗过错、安全危害和项目实施中所承担的角色。马克斯菲尔德在斯坦福大学完成了心理学博士研究工作。

罗恩·麦克米伦（Ron McMillan）是一位广受欢迎的演讲师兼企业咨询顾问。他是柯维领导力研究中心的创立者之一，曾担任该中心的研发副总裁。罗恩和众多企业领导者合作过，其中既包括一线管理者也包括财富500 强企业的高管们。

阿尔·斯威茨勒（Al Switzler）是一位知名的企业咨询顾问兼演讲师，为财富500 强中数十家企业的领导者指导过培训和管理方面的举措。此外，阿尔也在密歇根大学的教师发展中心任职。

精彩书摘

IT’S A MATH THING

Later, when members of our research team asked people why they had gone to silence in the face of someone violating a social norm—not to mention violating the sacred line rights of the subject in question—most commented that the mental math they performed at the time of the infraction suggested it wasn’t worth the effort. It was only a minor infraction of little consequence, and speaking up might actually cause a problem. Ergo, go to silence.

So we upped the ante. We left the mall and sat down next to students at a university library and made loud noises. Once again, nobody said anything. Members of our research team practically held a party in a location that most of us see as the very temple of silence, and yet nobody said a word. It was a library, and we were talking REALLY LOUD! Still nothing. So we snuggled up close to library patrons seated at the tables around us and read from their books—occasionally underlining a passage or two. Again, little direct dialogue. Next we went to the student union building, sat next to people seated in the cafeteria, asked them about the food they were eating, and then, you guessed it, started sampling French fries and pie from their tray. Still, few spoke up.

As clinically passive as these research subjects seem, their silence was unique neither to the population we studied nor to any particular decade. As it turns out, 30 years after we started this line of research, you can watch a number of TV programs that are devoted to this very phenomenon. The producers hide their cameras, pay actors to do something strange, antisocial, or politically incorrect in front of innocent observers, and then record the antics that follow.

When faced with scenarios even more bizarre than eating from a stranger’s plate (e.g., observing a possible abduction, seeing someone collapse on the sidewalk, listening to someone make a horribly racist comment, etc.), the majority of today’s onlookers remain silent. You have to put someone’s life in danger before innocent observers will utter a word—and even then, most people don’t say anything.

But what if the scenario you’re watching is not taken from a mall study or TV program and the stakes are both genuine and high—people could die if someone doesn’t speak up. How would you feel about research subjects who remain silent under these conditions? Better yet, would you yourself keep quiet even when doing so could cause others harm?

To answer the first question, you don’t have to go very far. Simply visit a patient in a nearby hospital. Attached to the doorframe of nearly every hospital room in the Western world you’ll find a hand pump filled with sanitizing solution. Each healthcare professional entering the room, by hospital policy, is supposed to sanitize his or her hands to help avert passing infections from one patient to the next.

The good doctor entering the room you’re observing has just examined three patients down the hallway who are suffering, in turn, from cholera, meningitis, and yellow fever. He is now coming in to examine (read touch) your father-in-law. Watch as the physician enters the room and fails to wash his hands. He walks right past the bottle of sanitizing solution and toward your father-in-law. Fortunately, it’s your lucky day. An attending nurse observes this violation of protocol. Surely she’ll