The State of Affairs

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Esther Perel
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Harper 2017-10-10 Hardcover 9780062322586

具体描述

Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

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##昨天年度婚姻数据上了热搜,结婚率下降,离婚率高企,差不多两对结婚就有一对离婚,这好像也没甚稀奇的,大数据与身边肉眼可见的小数据,趋势完全一致。 年轻人越来越不愿结婚了,已婚的越来越不愿凑合了,这是文明的进步,且与女性的觉醒互为表里,是件好事。但是,结也好,离...  

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##人们为什么结成亲密关系,又为何不忠?写挺好的,文笔和学术性都有,感觉还照顾了一下通俗读者如本人的八卦心情。她的有些关于infidelity的回答很巧妙,感觉避开了卫道士敏感的神经又表达了自己的观点。也许有人因为得了癌症获得了更好的人生体验,但是我不建议大家得癌症。另外这本书里好多图书馆三十秒名场面啊。

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##昨天,周扬青官宣,和罗志祥已经分手。 然而,这对携手九年、频繁秀恩爱的情侣并非好聚好散,原因是周扬青通过手机发现对方多次出轨,于是发出千字分手信,在挥手说再见的同时,痛斥罗志祥的不忠。 同一天,“男生变渣会有哪些前兆”的话题随之登上微博热搜。一些人从前任身上...  

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##If you are looking for something that is lost, you should be aware that you will never gonna find it under the bright light directly shedding on your standing place.

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